Commitment

We’ve had a great family sadness that I feel the need to talk about; I was a counsellor for 30 years so talking about ‘stuff’ is something I think people should do. Generally in these posts I steer clear of anything that upsets me, but I’m making an exception today. Many who might read this post already know what happened and I hope I don’t upset someone else in the telling.

The story is about James William (Wil) Griffith, born January 5, 2012, died January 7, 2012. Wil had a genetic anomaly which his parents knew about early on in the pregnancy but none of the “typical” indicators showed up in multiple ultra-sounds and other tests. The medical community was optimistic and the mother had a happy pregnancy.  She was advised to be in Vancouver 3 weeks ahead of her due date so the birth would happen at BC’s Women’s Hospital.  Baby Wil would need surgery within a week of birth and the most experienced team is at Women’s.  The parents were well informed and knew the baby might not live or that they might have to make a decision to let him die. They didn’t show the rest of us any of their anxiety although they did tell us, the grandparents, that there were potential problems.  And there were problems; despite a healthy weight and strong heart Wil’s lungs couldn't sustain him and his parents had to make the decision not to prolong his struggle.

Vancouver is the centre of our healthcare universe and BC Women’s Hospital, attached to BC Children’s Hospital is a massive conglomerate of buildings and services looking after normal health issues for Vancouver and the most vulnerable and at-risk situations for the rest of the province. Wil spent his short life in the Newborn ICU and he and his mother got the best care possible. Lining the walls of the many sections of BC Women’s are commemorative ceramic tiles celebrating or in memorial for babies born there. It’s a fund-raising initiative for the hospital and, for us and many others, a way to leave a concrete marker of an important event. The required donation for a tile for NICU is $1000.00 and it took our family and friends about a heartbeat of time to double that amount, an outpouring of support that was overwhelming.

As with any difficulty there are positive things to think about: the strength and commitment of Mark and Melynda’s relationship as they walked this path together, the expertise and commitment of BC Women’s Hospital, the practical and financial commitment of the Ministry of Health and Easter Seals House Vancouver, and the love and commitment of our support system of friends and family.  Alive less than 48 hours Wil had a big impact and I find myself, again, with tears in my eyes as I think about this dream that didn’t become reality.